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We adopted a cat from the humane society. She is so cute! Her name is Tadzi. The meaning of her name is Moon. In the native toung.we are so happy we have her. And now I am not the only girl in the house!

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Tag………

I am only doing this  for my friend. CK. But I am only going to post until I have people to tag..Kinda hard when the only follower is the one who tagged me..lol maybe I will get a few followers sometime…

The rules are:

  • you must post the rules
  • answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post (thanks)
  • create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged (ha! Good luck with that)
  • tag eleven people with a link to your post (Im not sure I have that many followers)
  • let them know you tagged them (oh, this might take some time)
  • No tag-backs (k, I just added that one but I’m allowing it

First, my questions:

  1. Favorite way to spend an evening? With my Family watching a movie or by a campfire
  2. If you were a tv character, which one would you be? I don’t know about TV but if it were a movie Character I could answer
  3. Have you ever used the phrase, “This reminds me of an episode of Friends” and if so, which episode and why? Nope not me..but if this were my husbands blog..he would have plenty of examples…he loves friends
  4. What is your secret guilty pleasure that you’re willing to divulge via your blog? Everyone who knows me knows I love eating Choclolate..but the guilty part is that I don’t share with my kids…I wait till they are in bed sometimes and eat a ton of it!
  5. If you could be doing anything right now (other than reading this awesome blog) what would it be? Sleeping like a princess
  6. What’s your hidden talent? I am not sure I have one…If I have a talent I try to share it..
  7. Are you planning on seeing Titanic 3D?  Why or why not?  Who is going with you? I was thinking about it…because it was the first movie I was able to go to without my parents..and my sister asked me too go with her and I would love to have some sister time!
  8. Which country song best describes your life right now (or any song for you country-haters) Jesus Take the wheel..by Cary Underwood…not because my life is going wrong but that because I know without him I would not have what I have so I hand my life over to Him and our Father willingly
  9. Do you watch award shows?  Which ones?  Have you ever practiced an acceptance speech justincase? Nope Don’t like them
  10. How often do you workout?  Everydarnday     A couple of times a week is sufficient      Once a week is plenty      Monthly       What do you mean, workout? What do you mean, workout..I try but it doesn’t work for me Or I don’t work for it..lol
  11. How long do you think it will take you to turn this around and send it?  FYI: I think I have the record at just over two weeks. Well it has been 3 day’s but I don’t think I have anyone to tag..so I will see I might just have to post it and then when I get enough followers I can tag it then..? hmm>>/?

And now, your questions.

1. When  was you first true love? explain.

2. What do you do for fun?

3. What is your religious belief?

4. Have you found out who you are? If so when did it happen?

5. Do you love your Job..? If so why? and if not Why?

6. What is it you most want in your life that you might share with everyone or that is most secret?

7.  Where is your favorite place to be?

8. Have you ever gone anywhere crazy? Or what is your best vacation?

9. Do you like noise or silence?

10. What do you read?

11. What do you think about the world?

 

Have fun…I will look forward to reading your responces

Have you ever said something and totally regretted it right as soon as it came out of your mouth?

Welp..I have..I seam to do it more and more every day! I use to be so good in social situations. That was when I was working with the  public. I would always know just what to say. I now stay at home and I am not in a social setting very often except when I go to church or have a church meeting or Choir on Thursdays fore an hr and a half or very rarely go out somewhere with my children or my husband. I really can’t count when I go somewhere with my family like to the store or something like that though because I really don’t talk to many people. So ya basically when I am at church and at Choir are my social settings.

We went out to eat a few weeks ago to Santa Fe because I started making soup not too long ago for them..But when I go to cook I am by my self…So I don’t know anyone that works there, and I made the decision not to say anything to them about me making my soup when I order my food and be just a “normal” customer. Well my son ordered some Chicken noodle soup (which I made) and chicken fingers. Ordering was done and then the baby needed to use the restroom so my husband took him, when the waiter comes back. He say’s I have some bad news…we don’t have any more Chicken…Well at this point my brain to mouth filter didn’t work so I blurted out..Not Chicken noodle soup…then he finished…Chicken strips but we are getting low on the Chicken noodle soup also..Then of course I said…nu uh…I just made some 2 day’s ago…Ya..well he looked at me with a unknowing look..

So I began to explain…I make the soup and…bla bla blabbber blabber blabber…and really truly that is what I said…cause really I am not sure what I said…but it was a very long explanation…and while I did he just stared at me..so I felt really stupid and when that happens I keep going and going with out stopping…kinda like the energizer bunny..My husband came in on the end of the conversation…My husband doesn’t get embarrassed easily but I could tell he was really embarrassed…After the waiter left my husband said..”I thought you weren’t going to say anything about your soup…Then I explained to him but I wasn’t as energizer-ish…

After that I sat thinking on this situation because I felt so stupid…I am a worrier..I try to tell my self not to worry and sometimes it works but this time it didn’t…So even tho I knew my husband was embarrassed when the waiter came back I went on and on..trying to make my self feel better…but nope didn’t work…I just kept digging deeper and deeper..When he left my husband just looks at me..so I went on thinking and thinking…Then when the waiter came back I did it again…still didn’t work..So in the middle I just shut up…Sometimes it is  best to just shut your mouth…

After we left I felt like I ruined our night out…so I called my mom cause she always makes me feel better…and she did…but a few day’s later my husband told me that he told the one person I didn’t want to know about the situation..well the whole story…so I went on feeling stupid again…Oh well it is over with and it’s a new day!

 

But what do I do with a new day?…I still say silly things…

 

I was in choir…I was there early and I usually sit very quietly just people watching…(I love to people watch) It was oh maybe the 3rd week or so and I finally decide it is safe to talk a little…(if you know me I talk a lot when I am comfortable but if I don’t know you I stay quiet and listen until I am comfortable) So I thought I would spread my wings a little bit and talk to the people behind me…we were talking about how life can be hard sometimes and how everything cost so much and I told them.. well, me I will be poor till my kids move out cause they are expensive..trying to put a little humor in the situation)..the guy (name I till don’t know) knew what I was trying to do and said,”I will never be poor cause I am going to marry for money” we all laughed and I turned around to face the front of the class cause our teacher was putting on a song that we will be singing..it is off the movie princess and the frog…very good song it is the one mamma Odie sings(if you watch the movie) or dig a little deeper. The song is about people digging a little deeper to find out who they really are..in the song it says “Prince Froggy is a rich little boy you wanna be rich again?//that ain’t gonna make you happy now..did it make you happy then? NO! Money aint got no soul;money aint got no heart..All you need is some self-control“…well the song goes on and on..but this is the part I listened to when my brain to mouth buffer didn’t work..(doesn’t usually) So what did I do…I turned around and said (much louder than I thought) to the guy that made the comment about marring for money..”this song is for YOU ya GOLD DIGGER!” I was so embarrass as some of the class gasped and others laughed and the teacher just stared at me as I apologized and said I am not usually this rude I was just playing but it sounded better in my head before it came out…All I could do was say sorry but then I remembered what happened at Santa Fe and just shut up…

I do this sort of thing all the time…some times it is very inappropriate but I just learned if I keep talking about what I just said wrong or just said that might have offended someone (sometimes it is someone I love) I just keep digging a hole…so if I have ever said anything inappropriate or rood or just silly…I already know I said it and I am sorry but I just shut up about the situation so it doesn’t get worse and worse…Please forgive me If I have ever done this to you! Love me still please!

Monster

Their are many monsters in life but the one I am going to talk to you today is about Cancer…because it is coming up on my Grandma B. ‘s date that I wish not to remember but I do any way because I miss Her.

My Grandma was my second mom! Literally. She lived  in the same town as us and then lived with us while I was growing up. She baby sat us when my mom was at work. I want to be like my Grandma.

Things I remember about her…

I remember watching the little mermaid at her house when I stayed the night because she was making me cloths. I would sing the “look at this stuff” song and she always said I had a beautiful voice. Without her and my mom’s encouragement I probably wouldn’t have sang that song for a talent contest. (Thanks Grandma for the confidence you instilled in me in many way’s) I absolutely loved watching my Grandma sew..We would listen to country music and I would sit watching her sew..She was an awesome sewer..She once made me a beautiful dress in one night. This is how much she loved “Her people”.  My cousin asked my Grandma to make her daughter a dress for a band recital (that her and I were both in) So my grandma spent a few day’s working on it. She got paid to make an original dress for my cousin and I totally understood so I didn’t happen to tell my grandma that I was in the same concert…I was just going to ware a dress I already had. So the night before the concert I asked my Grandma if she was going to go to my concert…She then said…”What concert” (in her stern voice)..and I told her with a childhood innocence…”you know the same concert C. is going to, you know the one you made her dress for”…At that point my Grandma got irate and Said,” Oh no way am I making a dress for that girl and not one for “One of My People”. I just stared at her while she took my measurements. That night she went home and made me a dress with beautiful red silky stuff (red was her favorite color) and hand painted flowers, she also made me a hair piece to complete the look. I felt so beautiful and I still have my dress she made for me in one night. My Grandma was the most amazing Grandma in the world where I was concerned. I am also a hand person if you know me well you might notice me looking at hands. My Grandmas Hand I will never forget! I watched them work hard sewing and making me dolls and I watched them hold my hand in church (when it was just her and I) and I watched them while they shrank and shrank due to the horrible monster of cancer which took those strong beautiful hands away from me. My Grandma was a Big strong women in stature and spirit. Everything was Big about her. She got mad Big..She made her clothes Big (which means she went all out) But most of all She loved Big…my grandma had a Big personality..You ether hated her or you absolutely loved her! I absolutely Loved her..still do!

My Grandma lived with us when she found out she had Bladder cancer. My Big Grandma went from well.. Big to a little tiny women. It was a hard road for all of us..Through going to the doc and going down to Utah for Chemo Therapy she still watched my little sister while we were at school and work. Even tho she was getting tinier and tinier she still Worked “Big”.

One day down this hard road I came home to see my Grandma wandering around the house and asked my sister C. what was going on cause lil L. was also wandering on the heal of my Grandma….thinking back I think lil L. knew what was going on but she couldn’t talk and Grandma wasn’t talking ether. I noticed my Grandma’s lip and eye was drooping and I kept trying to talk to her and she would just stair with her big brown eyes trying to communicate with me..but couldn’t for some reason. I was only 16 when this happened I didn’t know that with Cancer sometimes comes Strokes. My Grandma had a major stroke that day. I then called my mom at work and told her the symptom’s and she rushed right home taking my Grandma to the hospital. That night they sent my Grandma home on hospice..I didn’t understand back then what “hospice” meant. I am by nature optimistic so I still had hope that my Grandma would get better. (I will never change my optimism even tho sometimes the end result might be harder to deal with) My Grandma was a very independent person she was “Big” independent. So I think it hurt her to have her family  help her with the normalcy’s of eating, drinking, and even using the restroom…She couldn’t even talk on her own to tell us what she needed. I would ask her a question and look into her Big brown eyes and I could see so much she wanted to say but just couldn’t get out and she would get so frustrated and finally say in a defeated and disgusted voice a small yes..or no..That was all she could say..so of course when the day came (and me being my optimistic self) when she needed help in the bathroom and she was trying to tell me what she needed me to do…My grandma in her frustration told me these few simple words “I Need You” I got so happy cause she actually spoke and I thought she was getting better…I was elated that day…now being an adult looking back…Those few words exhausted my Grandma and she went into her room and went to sleep. Sometimes I can be a little self centered and I was probably worse then because I was younger. I was so happy that she said those few words I couldn’t see what was really happening…and I am not sure if it is a defense mechanism of mine or if I just live in my own world a little world too much that I didn’t know that she was still dwindling. It was only a few days later that my Grandma passed away on May 5, 1998 at 5 am.

When my mom came and told me and my sister C. that my Grandma was gone  my world broke…I think all of my families world broke. I can’t write what my other family members where going through because that is their story..But I can tell you what I was going through. I felt like I was lost..like I was standing alone in a sea of family and friends. I went in to see my grandma before they took her out of my room where she passed on and I looked at her hands. One was on her chest and one was by her side. I grabbed her hand and I could feel she was gone..tears ran down my face and at that point I was glad I had sang my grandma one of her favorite songs “As I have loved you” a few days earlier. I hoped that she would take that with her on her next journey and remember that I had Loved her “Big” with all my heart. And now when I listen to or sing that song I will always remember my” Big” Grandma B.

The days after she passed away were all a blur really…All I remember is that I wore the last dress she helped make me I remember crying through the whole song that I sang at her funeral as tribute to her, and I remember her hands…always her hands…after the funeral while we were at the burial sight it started to rain a May rain. Kinda cold and cloudy..But just as the bishop was done with the prayer, The beautiful sun came out and shone right down on my Grandma. I knew then that she was soaring with angels on her way to paradise. That Gave me comfort.

The days and months after that the pain slowly dwindled but I will always remember my Grandma. When her Birthday or My birthday or any major day in my life rolls around I think of her. I remember her on the anniversary of her death and that will always be hard and I will feel like a little piece of me is gone till we meet again… and that will never get easier. The only time that it was a ting bit easier was  on the birth of my little Ty and that was only because on the 5th of May my Grandma was taken away from me for now.. but Heavenly Father ten years later on the 6th of May 2008  gave me my beautiful son….. And No that doesn’t mean that Heavenly Father gave me someone to replace my Grandma but what it meant to me is that he took my Grandma from me because he has to allow the horrible Monster’s such as cancer happen because this world is not clean and pure…But he also allows little blessings in our life because he can (even in an ugly world) give us a little piece of Heaven.

Grandma I love you so very much! You are my “Big” Grandma that I will always look up to! Every Day! I hope that my Hands are as good as yours!

 

This ugly Monster Cancer has taken away two beautiful wonderful people in my life and is on its way to taking one more..I hope my sweet Aunt Vicky can triumph against this horrible nightmare of a creature.

Lost Sheep

So…Today we were on our way home from girls camp and on our way there was a lost sheep on the side of the road. I had 3 girls in my car and had them notice the lost sheep. I ask them to look out their window’s to find or look for the flock he belonged to…as we were looking one of my girls said,” if we find the flock what will we do? I said well we are following the leader so we won’t be able to do anything..but if we didn’t have to follow the leader then we could find the sheep herder and tell him that he had a lost sheep and we could even show him where this sheep is…needless to say we never found the flock that he belonged to and the subject was dropped..but this got me thinking in my own little head….I truly felt bad for this little sheep that was lost…I looked at his face and he was whipping his head around so I could tell he was lost..I then started to think of us and how we are sheep of our Heavenly Father and how Jesus is our sheep herder or Shepard. Am I lost like this little sheep I saw on the road…well I feel like I am on the right path….but can’t we all feel lost sometimes…maybe we aren’t praying as often as we should or maybe we say a wrong thing we wish we could take back. If I look at my self like this lost sheep trying to find my way…I start thinking I cant find my way when the the fog in my head is to heavy…I remember I need to pray…and ask our Heavenly Father for guidance and I know that he will show me the way!! Like I said we just got back from camp and we did this activity where we had to walk in the darkness with just and Iron rod to hold on to and I found that it was hard and I was even pulled over bolder and gravel and holes but as long as I held strong to the rod I wasn’t getting lost…this is really how life can be sometimes and if we let go of the rod that is leading us even just for a second we might loose our way and be looking around for our flock but I do know that if we just ask for help our Shepperd will guide us back to this rod that will help us through our lives.

decisions

Today I got fed up with my children fighting…I told them I will ground them for the rest of the summer if they do not stop..

Having a 10 year old and 6 year old is a wonderful thing but some day’s it can just get to you…I love them dearly but today…yikes…my oldest TR is old enoughto know what he is doing is wrong…he is the only one that is accountable…but Ty is getting close!! TR has been yelling at his brothers lately and I finally sat him down and lectured him on how he needs to be an example to his younger bros..so I thought today would be a new day and things would be different but nope…so I grounded him…I am sad to do so but he needs to learn how to listen and how to be kind to his bros. I told him I will unground him when he can show me he can be kind to his bros.

Journal

So we all like to blog…does it take the place of our journal…I think this might for some of us..
I would much rather type than write long hand.
I think what people write should be printed also so that our children and so on will know us like the world knows us…
Just a short thought for the day!!